26
Jul 04
I'll always remember your smile
I'll always remember the dispair
I once felt for your cold words
I'll always remember you

Your body, sweating
Waves of desire that overcame this love
Your eyes.
You.

I'll always remember our days together
As if someone sow it to my soul
I'll always remember every touch
Every bit of life you've made me love
I'll always remember your fears
I'll always regret your tears
I'll always remember this love
I'll always remember you

I'll always remember to try to forget you
Because not having you
Is more
Than i could ever bare

When i lie awake
I think of us
How could i have guessed i wasn't worth it?

Let's fight together
No - it's over, forget it
I'll try to let you go

But i'll always remember you.
publicado por JayneMars às 23:37

24
Jul 04
Chasing life
Under the dust of what you once were
Lying there, so weak
A tear falls and you let go

So, what next?
It's the same old ritual
Black suits, cynical tears, oh, so spiritual
I do smile, to scare away my fears

They took away the only thing i needed
I was so young, left so misleaded
I cry at night
And so at dawn - Because you left me
 All alone

It is not fair
I had a whole life to share
I know you see me, as i do feel you
It's not the same, never the same

What i really wanted was to hold you
As i dream, so often, it hurts so bad
But i wake up, snap back to the world
And then remember you are dead.

They don't understand
I will not forget
Why you? Why me?
There's a million actions i regret

I never got the chance to say
I loved you, tremendously
I cared for you, still do
I just cried myself to death,
On that miserable day,

When they took you away from me
Killed me inside
And changed my whole life
It's not the same, never the same
publicado por JayneMars às 14:03

21
Jul 04
Through sleepless nights
My soul wandered
So lost, tired, amused
For i tried to change, but never did

It ran through the gardens of my childhood
Picked the flower, retained the happiness
But my soul, still alone
Move along my meaningless life.

It collapsed on the floor
Trying to connect with my reality shore
But i kept pretending i was me
And nobody is the closest i'll ever be

So my soul just gave up
Laughed, then cried
For my future wasn't what the present leads
It would be bright, a masterplan, worth it

No.
No masterplan.
Crying, my soul begs me to wake up and go to sleep.
It is not worth it.
There is no future.
publicado por JayneMars às 14:12

20
Jul 04
To have found you
Was like finding a flower
In the middle of the desert
Adorable, Glorious as the sun

To have found you
Was like taking all my fears
Breaking all frontiers
And love again

To have found you
Was like waking me up
From a death i was living
For way too long

To have found you
I know not what it was
For i am alive now
But can't remember before

To have found you
Was to finally stop my journey
Through the desert of my life
And contemplate a flower,

My light.
publicado por JayneMars às 20:42

13
Jul 04
This week's chosen writer is the magnificent Paul Auster, who wrote, amongst others, "The New York Triology" which, in my modest opinion, is a great kick off to get familiar with this writer.
One of my favourite books of all times has to be Auster's "The Book Of Illusions".
The only way i could ever discribe it is as being magical.
For those of you who prefer poetry,Paul Auster's "Selected Poems" is definately a must have!
Hope you take the time to read it,you will surely not regret it!


Jayne Mars
publicado por JayneMars às 14:23

12
Jul 04

Because without you my world makes no sense
Because every music loses its key when you're away
Because my heart is smashed by the thoughts
 Of you and another soul

Because i become so empty without you next to me
 Because i think you're worth every single tear i cry
Every night i spend awake, every smile on my face,
Every laughter or embrace

Because you make me so confused
Because you make everything so clear
Because with you my problems are nothing but a joke
Because of you i want to disappear

Because you make me wanna die
Because you make me wanna live forever
Because you are so wrong to me
Because you are my life

Why?

Because i love you.

publicado por JayneMars às 14:32

11
Jul 04
No rain, my pain, will ever wash away.
In vain, my veins, carry the blood of my life.
No kind of love words will ever replace the fact that there’s an empty space beside me, in bed, in the cold winter night.
No smile or laughter will ever stop my tears, desperate to end up in your face, longing for your warm embrace.
No no-one will ever make me choose lif instead of giving up on temptation, and end up all my expectations of a better life.
No dream will ever make me want to sleep instead of living the reality and have you for myself.
No nothing will ever keep my love from you,
Will ever keep me away from you.
publicado por JayneMars às 23:02

I try
I cry
I die
I give up on you, just now

I don't want to be the fool
I don't want to lose control
I don't want to be alone
I don't want to hear my mind

Self-Destruction
Once again
History of my life
Repeats its course, to an end

Crying once more
I'm slamming the door
Come right in, my pain
As you and me are soulmates
And you will never be away

Walls of fire surround me
Just when i was learning to stand tall,
Once more
And i fell, what about now?
Where's my strenght to get up again?

No strenght, indeed
A flash of my life
The picture of death
I know how to paint

Thank you.
It hurts no more.
That's it.I'm not breathing,
I'm gone.
publicado por JayneMars às 15:51

10
Jul 04
The fire that once lit my soul
Vanished from the wind that this hell
Chose to blow
And the joy that everyday consumed my heart
Went off to a distant mirror of your smile

All the reasons i had
All the reasons i owned
Are dying inside this lonely fool
And as i wish i was another tear
I cry, feeling me, rolling down my face

Because you're gone
Because you chose to walk away
And because our love had no more reasons to remain
And i cry, dying, and killing all the colours in your eyes

Erase the past?
How can i, if the past that only yesterday was my future
Is still screaming, so loud, inside my soul
That echoes, so empty, without your love?

As a knife stabbs my heart
I laugh, with a thankful smile
Because it hurts so little
Compared to the pain your absence causes

I am one with solitude
And i drown in the world
And i pray, over and over
That your happiness overcomes your fears
And you come to me to wipe away your tears

Only because i love you
Like no human being is able to love
I jumped, without thinking
Into the well of your eyes
And i have no regrets
but the fact that i cannot love you more
'Cos there's no more love left in this world

It's a cruel place
With cruel choices
And as i stay in silence
I still can hear voices
whether screaming or crying
It doesn't matter

The doors of paradise
I'm still to find
And the key to your being
I choose not to leave behind
Only because i love you
Like no human being is able to love
publicado por JayneMars às 12:19

09
Jul 04

You ask me why suddenly
The sun started shining in my life
Why the ocean never seemed so bright
Why smile appears on my face

Why the flowers lose all the beauty
When you stand right next to them
Why the hours of my day
Just dissapear in a short second,
When i'm with you

You ask me
Why i feel the way i do
Why my happiness turns into a tear
When you turn your back on me

Why do i stop living
From the moment you say goodbye
And suddenly the world stabbs life into my heart
The moment you set on me your eyes

You ask me, like some dispair
You make me wanna change the world
And end up all your insecurities
Just to be worthy of your smile

Why i lie
Pretending i'm alright
When you call
From a distant place

Why i smile, understanding
When you talk about the world
Being jealous of the oxygen
'cos you breathe it with your life

How i wish i could just tell you
All the reasons why i cry
All the moments i exist
Why it is you are my life

publicado por JayneMars às 13:41

Julho 2004
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