29
Ago 04
You spare a line of thought
To rule your whole life.
No matter what comes along
You never change it, and you move on

You decide you will be sad
And even in the brightest day
You demand a tear to fall
And go "my life makes no sense at all"

And then it hits you.
Strikes you like thunder.
And you review the life you lead
Where and when did it stop making sense?

You cry over a broken heart
(Yes, i'm only human)
You neglect the air you breathe
(Well, it's there, no matter what!)

Until, of course, you contemplate death
You see it with your eyes
You experience fear
And then cry, thankful because you live.

Do you believe in God?
He gives me signs, that's how i feel Him
He chose me to live
He chose me to see this world

I try to be strong. For you.
I'll always be here
And i fight for you. For me. For all.
My life makes all the sense in the world.

Because i am alive
Because i need not to find the meaning of my life
Because, after all, i am the meaning
publicado por JayneMars às 15:03

25
Ago 04

Drops of loneliness flood my inside
Crawling, my monsters whisper to me
My nightmares insist on becoming so real
And thoughts of death come back every now and then

I'm not sure if i should pray to Lord
To get you
Or pray even harder
To forget you

Dark clouds, i know them well,
Prevent me from breathing
Because you decided to steal my living
I feel so lonely without you

Death is not a better choice
Eternally i'd stay without you
One way or another
We could never do

I do not have you now
I stay in distress
And die of loneliness

publicado por JayneMars às 04:31

24
Ago 04
I whispered to you
"I'll stay if you want"
I would change all my life
I would hope on this love

But you looked at me
So serious and cold
And with a smile, evil one
You said "No, you should go"

And then i woke up
Feeling tired, alone
The embrace was a lie
My life, a mistake

And my pain was in vain

Yes, it is true
I would give up my dream
"What for?" you ask
We were never meant to be

Me and you?
One plus two?
You and me?
"You should go, you should leave"
publicado por JayneMars às 03:04

19
Ago 04
I love you.
You are already inside of me.
Truth of the matter is i'd love to hate you
No, not really.

I suspect i even love it
When you make me cry.
It makes me love you even more.
Why on earth do i do this to myself?

I hang around, most of my days
And i swear i am dead
Oh, hold on...No, i'm still alive
Still aching of a broken heart

But you keep me close
- I once did it too -
I keep crying, quiet
Because i too have a past

I hate this part of us
No matter what you do
It's ok - i've done it too
So, our lives are like payback time.

Go!
Be free!
You know i'll love you forever
But it could all end tomorrow

Don't be scared
I'll never let you fall
I regain my composure
And dive into the night

I love you.
Did i?
Would you?
Guess not..
publicado por JayneMars às 13:43

18
Ago 04
Oh! Horrible Being!
Insensible feeling
You are nothing but death
Hidden with a smile

Let go of the souls you're hurting
Let go of the pain you're causing
Oh! Horrible one
Can't you see you're nothing but trouble?

Meaningless piece of human sample
You're not even allowed to breathe as you do
Open your eyes
Give in to the earth
publicado por JayneMars às 02:24

"Did you ever feel you're someone else inside, and no one understands you are?"
Yes, it happened to me.
In fact, it happens all the time.
There's a point in one's life where everyone thinks they're able to judge one's actions, fears, tears, even smiles or achievements.
I tend to judge alot.
I tend to think that i have the moral support to judge every situation in everybody's life.
But truth of the matter is i don't.
And, like me, no one holds that right.
But everybody judges.
One thing i find tremendously funny is when one judges another in the same situation where one made a crucial mistake.
My friends know me.
The know what i appear to be.
Yet, everyday, when i get home and find the time and space to think, i realize i am not what i appear to be to them.
What am i, then?
Who am i to them?
I don't know, i just know i am not like that, i'm not so bad nor am i that good.
And i am no middle term.
publicado por JayneMars às 02:20

01
Ago 04
It's not possible to walk away...
My heart just starts beating so fast
When you stand up
To say goodbye

How is it possible that i still tremble near you?
How is it possible i love you even more
Than i did when we first locked eyes
So long ago, when i was just a humble servent of a distant fate?

How is it possible you make me cry even harder
Than the times i cried, feeling lonely, no-one to love,
No light and no end of the tunnel...?

When did you become this nightmare
That haunts my everyday, and, at the same time,
The only one that can save me
From the darkness of my soul

How is it possible..
When did you become my life?
publicado por JayneMars às 00:54

Agosto 2004
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