22
Jul 05
This is where everything went wrong.
The "I love you" sentence has once again proven to be not so suitable.
But i still do. I Still love you. Even if there's nothing left to say between the two of us, here remains the words i never told you,but always felt...
I Love You.
publicado por JayneMars às 17:03

21
Jul 05
I've never wanted things to turn out this way.
No,i wanted it to be the total opposite.
My plan, as i determinantly stated many times, was to never fall in love again. Ok, too harsh. Maybe not for two or three years, then.
At that moment love, to me of course, was nothing more than a cruel monster, and once i managed to get by the hurdle standing in my heart, i'd return to my own little world, lock myself up, and remain cold as ice towards everything related to love.
That was something that was ruling my life at the time, somewhat of a strenght to move on, something i could rely on, something i strongly believed inside of me and made my days bareable.
Little did i know i was aiming to the wrong landscape.
I met you.
I tried to ignore the signs that were telling me i was, once again and like i didn't plan, falling in love.
I tried, with all my strenght, to fight back that feeling.
Knowing me, i knew it wouldn't work. I'm just not cut out to love. Maybe i'm immature, maybe i've never truly loved someone, but the remaining fact is that i'm severely lacking in that area.
But my feelings grew stronger everyday, and now,many months gone by, i would almost take a chance and tell you i love you.
Almost.
It's a very strong word to come out with, and basically i don't believe it anymore.
I think i'm afraid of that sentence.
Love to me isn't a fairytale anymore.
It's rather disgusting i've stopped believing in love at such young age.
And not even you, whom now i love, are making me believe in it.
Because i've been burned so many times i need to feel steady ground beneath my feet. And everytime i start to feel it, you take it away from me, leaving me 10 times more insecure than i was in the beginning.
Pardon me if i don't believe in little hearts sprinkling around, or if i stopped believing in love.
No one said it was easy, but it's up to you.
Now don't do this anymore, i don't believe in games either.
If you firmly believe we can be together, be constant, don't give and take, 'cos this only makes this scared child move away.
publicado por JayneMars às 01:12

04
Jul 05
I've sensed the sweeet scent of the streets of Paris.And I've sensed love.The city of love,life,the city of light.
Everything appears to be free,and it's more real then any other make believe freedom.
The streets were filled by a voice screaming to be heard.We were thousands.They were thousands. So different from our small reality,years away from our way to live our life.Because then i saw and realised that it is our duty to fight for something that is rightfully ours.But we need to accept ourselves first, learn and teach how to love, and then be free inside.Paris taught me that.We are never alone,and together,we're stronger than all the harm in the world.
publicado por JayneMars às 13:00

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