22
Nov 05
I sit here, right here, where i belong.
I'm waiting for you.
For only you.
Having you, there's nothing else i wish to have. You are all i need to breathe.
I dream of a time when i get home after a tough day working, and you greet me with a smile. And then we kiss. We talk about everything, even about nothing, and you're mine. And i'm yours. Forever.
I like the way you make me feel.
You calm the stormiest weather, you make me feel secure.
You made me believe in life again, and made me realize there are still good, pure people around.
I'm sorry i ever made you cry.
I'm sorry i almost drove you away from us.
I'm sorry if i ever believed i could live without you. I can't. I need you like the air i breathe.
I'm sorry for all the times i was (and still am) unfair.
I'm sorry you don't see the love i feel for you.
But it's there.
Because i miss you madly when you leave my side for a second.
Because my life is empty, so empty, when you're not around.
Because you are my dream, my priority, my love.
publicado por JayneMars às 00:18

15
Nov 05
I light up a cigar, a distant, empty look upon my face.
We stood in silence, with so much to speak.
I wanted to reach out and touch your hand, but instead i pretended you weren't even there.
I wanted to tell you i felt hurt when, once again, you didn't tolerate who i am.
But you're still my world, nothing changed.
I wanted to say that i stood looking through the window, when you left, hoping you'd come back...But you never did.
Instead of finding ways to come closer to you, i just found ways to build bridges of ice between us.
publicado por JayneMars às 19:40

04
Nov 05
The sun is hidden by the clouds.
I hear a rough noise in the distance,brought to me by the friendly wind.
If only it could rain.If only the rain could wash away this pain.
It is summer. Three long months of sunshine, hope and laughter, too much happiness for me to bare.
I want to feel a storm, as a mirror of my soul.
Where are you, my sunshine?
Why does happiness run away to be with you, when you are never near?
I envy the days that are yours, 24 hours that belong just to you. Why are you so far away from me?
Why do i feel the need to tell you what my heart feels, when it seems like you don't even hear it?
t hurts so much i don't feel pain anymore.
I've cried so hard i don't have anything to cry for, anymore.
I love you so much i feel it doesn't make sense anymore.
With a contradiction, i am not alone.
I have a partner, who's soul is as dark as mine.
Just as a reflection in some old dusty mirror.
He sleeps. I don't. I can't close my eyes, because darkness, even though it's my allie, makes me feel claustrophobic, enclausured in my worst fears.
And then i remember.
I remember why it is i'm far away from you.
I remember all that was spoken, i remember the angst of hiddingthe tears demanding to fall freely, i remember the cover i chose to myself, that made me look strong.
I remember every single expression in your face.
So, left here on my own (He sleeps), i write. Long pages of words without a meaning, i write and write and write some more.
The pen and papper are the companions i chose to walk with me, in this journey to my soul.
It's a journey of a dead poet.
Let me die, and bring me back to life.
publicado por JayneMars às 12:57

Novembro 2005
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